Running

The feeling of disappointment when you open up your blog and realise you have lost days of blogging.  Shattered, where do I even begin.  So much happens in my life at such a face pace that i can’t even recall for the most part what happened last week. Well , not in any order anyway.  You cant rewrite, well I cant and why I like writing is once its out its out and Im able to move forward quicker in my own mind to whats happening now.  Its my release.  But there was so much in the days that have past that im tempted to have a go.  If only for a moment.

So our trip was destined to start off at the quick pace me running, just as I did when I booked my last minute flight last year only this time I was running for my standby flight, just getting to the door as they were about to shut.  Thankful.  I was not keen on spending the night in Hongkong.  The pace was just about to slow down a hell of a lot as I found myself landing in london with no reuben and no van an no internet.  Where the hell where they? Take a guess, year one Wild girl trip was on repeat.  Maybe.  After spending too much money on a sim and connecting I walked outside, 2 days no sleep up my sleeve and a long way to go to get to my man.  Bumming a cigarette I was in no hurry contemplating sleeping on the side walk for the next eight hours before i attempted the long journey in a hire car.  Spoke with Reuben, proud to say although the van on wheels and our advenutures were to be put on hold for the moment he was keeping his cool.

With no idea on how i was going to find reuben still a few hours drive from where I was heading I smiled knowing that my internal compass would lead me and open me to the world around me.  My phone was flat and after an attempt to pick up a new charger found myself continuing on forward, I could picture myself coming across him at a merge way on the road and my gut was telling me it would happen.

Sure enough sometime later as my eyes peered from side to side looking for the black broken down van a tow truck suddenly appeared to my left.  I beeped my horn windows down yelling like a fool, waving my arms like the italian side in me and zoomed on ahead.  After taking a quicck uturn to get in behind the van I thought the guys would have noticed the psycho who was driving along side them, but it wasnt until the end of a dirt road and when i pulled in behind the truck did reuben realise I had been following close behind.  thankful to my gut for leading the way and again proving the life compass my body holds works brilliantly.  What a gem.

the next few days found us exploring the north western side of england with our cheap ass but deadly race car.  Zooming around tiny cobbled streets, tight corners and no room for the occassional oncoming traffic we found ourselves going between the odd hotel room, late night takeawy and breathing in the brilliant coastline.  My favourite with us always being the nights we find ourselves camping out.  there is something about leaving behind all the city lights, abundance of scattered energies and stagnentation of hotel walls that makes these nights extra special for me.  we leave behind all the aparent ‘shoulds’ in a city and town that haunt us all and leave us with nothing but the beauty of the night sky, a pulled together dinner of whatever we could get our hands on and with that a feeling of presence.  there is nothing we need to be.  There are no answers we need to find, there are no ‘should’ we go that way or ‘should’ we go another way.  we are left to feel how we feel I can feel the relief it brings to all souls.  That day as we walked to find our patch of home, the sun was setting and the surrounding beauty was soaking into me.  I could feel the contentment of the basic life, of the only life that really has ever felt more like home to me.  Peaceful, uplifting.  Although our home was on a slant that had us almost toppling off a cliff side, with our tent flapping so hard through the night all I could hear was reubens snoring and the wind threatening to tear us away.  As the night passed by with little sleep all i could do was keep one eye open watching the pegs about to ripped out of the ground.  But with the hours that past, my heart was open, content and peace continued to fuel my body.

By the morning I was surprised that although it took maybe four times to get up to push the pegs back in,  the tent was still flapping and the ponies were hanging around ready to see us up and moving.  My heaven.  Nature.

Nature followed by a pub in falmouth full of friendly locals all living their usual daily ritual one beer followed by another.  Warm beer by the way.  It was on visiting this pub that we discovered that falmouth was celebrating a beer festival that weekend.  Not my kind of thing Im happy to say, but after spending a night camped in a farmers paddock and feeling the desire for us both to head over and get into it we found ourselves booking a hotel in town.  Only walking involved.

Loss on the point system was dramatic and quick as we drove along to our destination.  I cant even tell you where the points were lost, only that were due to stress, frustration and my inability to sit next to one in it.  exhausted myself we pulled into falmouth, attempted to book into our hotel only to find it more like a dirty horaders home with no one to greet us.  the stress was about to become more as we sat out the front trying to get a refund on our room.  300 bucks later and I checked us into the room next door, ready in my head to do whatever I needed to do to move forward and let go of the drama just past and spend the night venturing out on my own.  I was leaving leaving my man behind unable to carry the load for the day any longer.

A shower, a line, a beer, a tear and sitting naked perched up looking out the bay window, the time past, and the wide valley that stood bewteen us slowly merged and a few hours later with our hearts both on the same page, open, real, sharing the truth of the moment, our lips found eachother and before long we found ourselves drinking beer, gin and dancing to some fun loving easy moving band in tiny pub we happened to stumble upon.  I love that, the feeling of not having to be anywhere and being in the company of someone who can be present feeling the cool air on our faces, not knowing if finally the next pub we would come across would be something worth while.  Or if we were walking the streets just wasting our time.  I am happy to know that sometimes you do stumble upon what you desire and sometimes you are left wanting more but not finding it.  Sometimes you dont find anything and thats ok too.

Just like searching for a decent takeaway and ending up with Maccas.  sometimes its that or nothing.

It wasnt long before I was saying goodbye to reuben as he headed off for work.  was real sweet being able to drop him off at the chopper.  Not something Ive been able to do before, but so lovely to be a part of.  Kissing my love goodbye, I headed off on my own adventure camping out somewhere on the coast.